Popular sports journalist, Aisha Falode, tells ‘Nonye Ben-Nwankwo about her career and lifestyle
Why did you venture into an area that was once regarded as male’s forte?
The time has come for us to start talking about how far we have come and not how we started. It is of great satisfaction to me that the glass ceiling that was broken by some of us years ago has today produced so many intelligent and competitive female sports journalists and thus we can look back and say we are very proud of the foundation that we laid. Today, we have so many young women who are points of reference. They have access to some of the best materials and sources that we did not have the privilege of accessing when we started; the facts at their finger tips are so accurate that the men too know they have a good run for their money.
How were you able to cope?
Passion is of immense attribute to a calling. It brings the best out of you, pushes you hard and gives you the drive to want to achieve more and once the men knew that I was not a flash in the pan, that my dedication proved beyond reasonable doubt that I was here to stay, I began to earn the respect of the men which is what every woman in this profession today should strive at. Be passionate about what you are doing and be dedicated and like in football, retrain and retrain yourself and listen to the inner mind. Recreate that which you have done and see how it can be improved upon and how your flaws can be eliminated. In other words, do not be carried away by the ovation in the ambience of the pitch. Keep your eyes on the ball till you hit the target.
Were you sceptical about your chances of succeeding especially when criticised by sportsmen because of your gender?
No. I think it is like you being at the starting block of say, a 200 metres race. By the time the men knew you were even in the race, you were so far gone that it was difficult for them to catch up. It was more of skepticism than criticism. It pushed me hard and gave me a head start and put me in a stead that gave me the impression that I needed to prove my worth and erase the doubts in the minds of my male colleagues. And by the time they realised it, not only was I in the race, I was almost breasting the tape ahead of the pack with all due respect. This again is my advice to all young women; there is no short cut in this profession. Let the criticism be like an opium to feed the passion inside of you, the surge of adrenaline and the boost of power to dominate that which you feel within.
You studied Physical and Health Education, was it by choice or by design?
I was very active and athletic as a young woman, also very competitive. I was my school’s Hockey and Hand Ball captain and won two medals for Lagos State at two different national sports festivals. Therefore, when I talk about passion, sports for me have been a passion as far back as I can remember. Although I knew that professional sports could be challenging, therefore I needed to channel my focus towards what was then considered a profession and that gave me the inspiration to study Physical and Health Education. I chose mass communication for my post graduate so that I could have my cake and eat it. I would be in the main stream covering professional sports and also still be part of the professional sports family.
How easy has it been as a sports journalist?
Nothing comes easy. It is a fact of life. Things you work hard for are the ones you cherish the more. Journalism has the same rules -long hours, chasing and breaking stories etc. It’s just a lot of hard work and it is time consuming but the end justifies the means. Once you get the job done, you can look back with some sense of fulfilment.
Have you always wanted to be an on air personality?
It was not part of the plan at all. When I started with Ray Power, I chose to work as a reporter for about a year even though my superiors wanted me to go on air from the very first day. Being on the field is where you really cut your teeth in journalism. It was challenging, fun, educative and it really was just an experience on its own which is why today I can call myself an all round journalist- a reporter, an editor and a presenter. The opportunity beyond comparison if you add that to my background as a graduate of Physical and Health Education and the post graduate degree in Mass Communication.
Would you say your profession has opened doors for you?
I would not call it ‘opens doors’ but I would say it gave me some kind of recognition in the sense that you get favoured in some instances and in some cases, you get recognised and you are offered some kind of privilege for which I am always grateful.
What happened to ‘Women on the Ball,’ is the TV programme still running?
Women on the Ball was meant to keep the men at home with their spouses and family. Men want to go out and enjoy the game with their friends on weekends and we wanted to get the women interested in what was taking the men outside the home. We achieved that in a very short time that the programme was on air and the feedback we got was overwhelming. Women on the Ball also re-emphasised the fact that women can really do whatever they set their mind to. The programme was different from every sport programme that was on television at that time and what you have on television today and we thank our sponsor, MTN, for its support in that ground breaking innovation. We are working on bringing the programme back on air in the next football season because of its huge popularity.
Then again, you ventured into a talk show, Amazons, what motivated the idea?
Amazons is a movement. Again, for me everything revolves around the family. Thank God for families. The family is an integral part of a larger society. If you get the family right, you will have a society that is not only ethically answerable to its obligations, but takes responsibility for its shortcomings. On The Amazons, the family takes precedence and we recognise the fact that women are the foundation and fibre of the family. It may seem as though the programme is feminist, it takes cognisance of the role of the woman in nation building, using her influence on the family as base.
Do you think the talk show is satisfying a need in the lives of some people?
The Amazons as the name suggests is fearless, strong, opinionated and is the coming together of women with character. We have delved into topics that were discussed in the privacy of our homes, earned the trust of our guests to divulge their innermost secrets and were not judged by the public or our audience because of the platform such issues were brought to the open. Above all, we connect our guests who need professional counselling and follow up or such. There is no dull moment on the set of The Amazons because of the different persona and character that Bimbo Akintola, Dolapo Awosika and I bring to set. We argue, we make our points with deep emotion and conviction; the set is engaging and sometimes there is humour and drama. At the end of it all, we do not give the solution but leave the viewers to make up their mind.
What was it like growing up in a polygamous home?
I had a humble beginning and I am grateful to God for that. I was taught love, care and sharing in the midst of scarcity. I was taught the dignity of labour, good morals, honesty and humility. We did not have much growing up but contentment was a virtue our parents instilled in us in abundance. I am still very much guided by these principles.
Could your growing up in a polygamous home have influenced your decision to get into polygamy as well?
No one goes into any form of marriage with a set mind. As a product of polygamy with its negatives and failings, I should be the last person to be found in polygamy. That being said, I would not condemn it, neither would I encourage it. Some people have made a success of polygamy while some could not survive it. Same with monogamy. Therefore, the choice is for the individual to make. Maturity is key.
You once said you regretted marrying an older man, why?
Let me clear the air on this. What I said was I did not have the maturity and tact to deal with the politics of polygamy. I was very naive and young and polygamy required a level of maturity and pretence from all the parties involved; the man inclusive. That is the only way to make it work. Given the same opportunity, I would do things differently because I have learned and mastered the ropes.
Some people might want to know why you got into the marriage in the first place…
Same reason as I guess for everyone who is or has been married. Meet a man you fall in love with and you get married. My late husband, God bless his soul, was a very good man.
Given the chance, would you get married again?
Why not? It’s a possibility that I am open to.
In your programme, The Amazons, you give intelligent talk about marriage and relationship, would you say you didn’t take those advice during your time or you didn’t know as much as you know at the moment?
I have made my mistakes and learned from them. If I have another shot at marriage again, I will do things differently. Don’t forget on The Amazons, three of us – Bimbo, Dolapo and I – argue back and forth on issues with three different perspectives. But the professionals who have been married for over 25 years that come on the show as guests proffer the solutions or advice on how to sustain a marriage. The marriage expert, the couple who has been married for more than 15 years and those just starting all have different experiences to share. You have various insights to draw from which would have saved many relationships and marriages that are ailing or in distress.
You once said on your programme, ‘if you give your man enough bedroom food, no girl can snatch him’, do you think sex is the basic thing that keeps a home?
I was brought up with the good old traditional values regarding the place of a woman in marriage. Cook good food for the man to eat, keep the home tidy, be obedient and subservient to your husband even in the bedroom. But things have changed and are no longer the same. Beyond all of this, men still want the spice and will always say you cannot eat the same kind of soup every day, you need variety. Therefore, the woman has the responsibility to put variety in the way she serves the soup. What happens between partners in the bedroom is strictly for their pleasure. Nothing stops a woman from being adventurous with her husband. Make play time fun, be naughty and creative if he wants to be. If a man looks forward to coming home to his wife, you know his reason is more than the food on the table.
What if the woman is ‘not in the mood’ or is married to an insatiable partner, would your opinion above still matter?
No two relationships are the same. My opinion above is just a general blue print for relationships.
Where do we see The Amazons in the next couple of years?
The Amazons will continue to evolve and be guided by the principle of building strong family values and ethics. Our goal ultimately is to give more and more people the platform to be open about the issues that affect them and seek ways to help them find the path to the solution with all the options provided. The Amazons is working on a project we are keeping close to our chest at this time.
How do you manage your programme, your profession, sitting on the board of so many sports committees and of course, your family?
For a working woman, managing family and career is work in progress. As in my case, I have continually had to prioritise where there is conflict in demand for presence and time. I have reached a point in my career where my work and schedule is decided and determined by me. For The Amazons, the shoot takes into consideration the schedule of all three of us and finds a period that is convenient and agreeable to everybody. Sport is the only profession I know where a calendar for events, competitions, awards, committee meetings etc is known at least a year prior and that gives me long enough notice for planning and countdown and this eliminates conflict with my other demands.
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