My Experience With Weed (Read this if you want to laugh)

Story 1
My Experience With Weed by mr_man(m)
I had just moved out of my parents house and was sharing a room with my "friend". I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious movements and signature weed scent(abi na odour?) barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with beans or spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so i decided to find out for myself(wrong move)

It was a very hot day in february, a saturday i think it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets all expect one i concluded that he must be the seller so i approached him and the following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i didn't know that. I thought it was something very large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, i was suprised when he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't beleive weed was that cheap.


On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because i thought that it will be better that way(another wrong move). Long story short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i don chop am oo. My friend was like ehen you be strong man oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging, i was able to get up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously, it was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins(you have to experience it to believe it. Though I strongly advise against it) i felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice in my head wisphered ogbeni bo aso e joor (off your clothes) i obeyed. The voice came again oya sa re(now run) that was when i realised that the weed had taken effect so i decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my skin so hot i ran out of the bathroom.

I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed i took and i told him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad oo go chemist make you go explain yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go away no matter how hard i scratched and i was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbour champion and told him champion e jo e fun mi lese laya(champion pls punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo(if you don't punch me i will die oo) he hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the boys quatters.


The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why don't you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die?) i punched and punched but there was no difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma sare lo(start running) so i started running but on getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was shivering but that didn't stop me from running(i would have given husain bolt a run for his money on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare footed, i told him i had a severe headache i needed something to make me sleep immediately, he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in his presence, next i asked him to give me a drug for evil spirit, that was when he realised something was wrong with me and chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time around to a nurse in the area, first thing she asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don't you have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i was finally able to explain my situation to her and she took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting without butter or tea.

I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told me e be like say your head no carry am but e go better make you try am once more so you go dey use to it. The following day while the house was empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like the prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my parents. It's been a few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me in trouble again and my circle of friends have since changed.


      STORY 2
Re: My Experience With Weed by zenopee(m)
Weed na bad tin ooo. I have stopped smoking it now though, but there are some weed smoking memories I can never forget.
When I was in secondary school in the north, I was in SS3 then. When it was Marley Day celebration, I and some friends decided to celebrate it in grant style, so on dat particular day, we ordered 14 wraps of weed. We were seven in number, and we went into the bush at the back of our hostel wit two mattresses where we sat and smoked our weed. It was a kind of smoking competition to Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴͡ who will fade out nd give up d smoking. Well we all took turns passing the weed round. Most of my friends pulled out at the 10 reefer. I smoked to the 12, till when my head couldn't contain it again. My eyes where dilated, my mouth felt bitter and. Lifeless, my head felt so huge, nd I was seeing several high places inn my front, even though every where was flat. I began to walk carefully towards the hostel, with caution as if I was walking on a mountain. I took very high steps believing that there gullies all around my path.
When I got to the hostel, I went straight to my room, pulled out my toothbrush put some toothpaste on it. At this time my head was thumping and I was seeing double. I began to work up nd down the hostel looking and askin for toothbrush and toothpaste, even though I had them in my hand. Fellow seniors and juniors where looking at me strangely, they kept wondering if I had gone insane. Well my weed smoking friends kept me secured during this moment. When I tried eating, I didn't feel anything. My entire body was numb, I just knew that food was going into me, but I didn't feel anything. Very funny.
During prepz, the girls in my class kept looking at me strangely. They knew me as a a very lively fellow but I kept looking like "mumu". I looked dull and silly. They kept asking what was wrong with me, I didn't even reply, I was in oblivion of what was happening. I felt like I was in another world. Everything around was double. My weed smoking friends stood by me nd covered me up, they said I was not feeling well. They didn't want me to "fuckup", though some sharp girls in class understood what was wrong with me, and later advised my friends not to. Indulge me in such things.
For three good days, I wasn't myself. I kept to myself and behaved stupidly. The effects wore of completely after 3 days. It was a real nasty experience.

Nairaland