Making love or having sex BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

Making love or having sex, are they the same thing? How do I differentiate love making from just having sex? This nature of questions comes up frequently from spouses and proffering answers to them may sometimes get confusing.

Basically, making love is when two lovers are deeply in love with each other and indulge in all form of passionate sex, while having sex may just be about experiencing erotic pleasure down there. But oddly enough, both are very necessary in any marital relationship.

Almost always, ladies say they like making love simply because it involves lots of touching, long sensual foreplay and the like; while many men can’t help but say they like having sex. However, gender generalisation may really not be true because many men prefer love making to having sex.

Although, making love and having sex may sound similar, there’s a big emotional difference. While making love involves the feeling of love, the spouse connection, love doesn’t really have to enter the equation when it comes to having sex. When couples have been in a relationship with each other for few months or years and they are deeply attracted to each other, such partners are probably making sweet love every time both of them get into bed. Making love is far more relaxed and slow paced than just having sex. It brings with it all the hot pleasure of sex and each time these two emotions come together, the pleasure would definitely be more intensified. And the best part about making love is that there is more room for communication, deep sharing and prolonged foreplay. Both partners would not only be comfortable with each other, they will be aware of each other’s moves and deepest desires, that naturally may not surface when having sex. In one word, sex is just a perfect fusion.

But when it comes to having sex, sex is usually triggered off more from object of attraction, boiling arousal, sexual famishment, long abstinence, and prolonged denial. Foreplay is usually skipped; this type of sex is usually fast and furiously done in the car, under the shower, on a road trip, in a private office, at a friend’s place… anywhere secure and at least semi-comfortable! In this type of sex, you just want to have sex to quench your arousal-hunger and endless torture and you wouldn’t care about awkward positions or cramps and sprains until the deed is done. While having sex is more of a pure carnal satisfaction, yet both make sexual intimacy in marriage spicy.

Sometimes, just having sex with your husband or wife can be more fun than making love. At the start of a marital relationship, it’s the sexual attraction that makes making love feel so sexy. But when couples make love all the time and avoid having fast, quickie and furious sex, the hot rush of passion may start to drop because neither of the partners is focusing on sexual attractiveness and triggers.

It is not uncommon that both may be deeply in love with each other yet sexually unsatisfied due to lack of sexual attraction. Sometimes, this may even lead to loss of libido, lack of sexual desire, weak erection and some orgasms challenges.

You can still experience the best love making in sex and even stay loyal to each other while both of you exchange hot quick ideas and sexual thoughts while having sex.

Time of love making helps sexual romance to bloom; it gives room to communion well and also helps activate the mind while creating fantasies and imagination together. Spouses can even create new and exciting sexual memories.

Time of lovemaking is time of pure openness; it allows you to say what you are thinking and also makes you to talk like you’re having an affair. The sexiest way to talk freely with your partner is when you are most relaxed; it helps you to fantasise about passionate moments. In any successful relationship, couples need a perfect blending and balance of making love and having sex. So therefore, when a spouse feels like his or her partner is not emotionally connected in bed, that is not the moment to fret. At times, just having sex can be a good thing too, just as long as you look for ways to bring lovemaking back into the bedroom now and then. So, balance the equation; make love and have sex. The combination can be super.

Why Android users pay more for data – NCC

The Nigerian Communications Commission says it is not turning a deaf ear to the lamentations of Nigerian users of Android smart phones and tablets over the high cost of data.

It notes that the differences in data allowance for Android and Blackberry users have been generating a lot of controversy among consumers of late.

The apex regulatory agency in the telecoms sector says it is still committed to protecting Nigerians against unfair practices by telecoms service providers in the country.

According to the NCC, Internet subscribers using BlackBerry smart phones pay far less than their counterparts making use of Android devices because BlackBerry Limited (Formerly Research in Motion) utilises a special algorithm to serve its users better.

Writing on its Facebook page, the NCC argues that BlackBerry indirectly subsidises bandwidth for its users by compressing the content downloaded by subscribers.

Unfortunately, the NCC adds, downloads and consumption was not compressed for Android phones. The result is that Internet surfing on such operating devices will require more bandwidth.

The NCC says, “The manufacturer of BlackBerry utilises a special compression algorithm to serve users of Blackberry handsets who have subscribed for the Blackberry Internet Service. Whenever such a subscriber browses the Internet and opens a webpage, a request is sent via the handset’s browser requesting for the page to be downloaded to the phone.

“This request is channelled to BlackBerry Limited’s gateway in Canada, which fetches the webpage, compresses it and sends the compressed data back to the BlackBerry phone as a download.

“On an Android phone, the request to open a webpage by telephone subscribers is sent to the gateway of the network operator, which then processes the information and sends back the page to the Android phone as a download. But the data is not compressed – thereby requiring more bandwidth.”

As a way out of the current predicament of Internet subscribers on Android devices, the NCC notes that there is a need to make bandwidth cheaper and more accessible for Nigerians. This, it argues, requires the successful implementation of the Broadband Roadmap of the Federal Government.

The Broadband Roadmap aims at achieving a fivefold increase in broadband penetration over the 2012 penetration rate by the end of 2017. Traditionally, broadband refers to high-speed communications networks that connects end-users at a data transfer speed greater than 256 Kbit/s.

In the Nigerian context, the Ministry of Communications Technology defines broadband as an Internet experience where the user can access the most demanding content in real time at a minimum speed of 1.5 Mbit/s.

Noting that bandwidth in Nigeria continues to be “an expensive resource,” the NCC blames the development on the dearth of wired infrastructure.

“Most data are transferred wirelessly. This is the reason why the NCC is promoting wired infrastructure around the country through such projects as WIN (Wire Nigeria) as well promoting a Broadband Roadmap for the country which will greatly reduce the cost of bandwidth, thereby reducing the cost of browsing the Internet on smart phones,” it explains.

The commission states that as the regulator responsible for promotion of fair competition in the communications industry, it will continue to protect consumers’ interests against anti-competitive and unfair practices.

Noting that the services of its Consumer Affairs Bureau are rendered free-of-charge, the commission explains that its offices across the country, alongside its online platforms, are available to receive complaints on telecoms services.

Dissatisfied consumers, the commission says, may lodge complaints by calling its Contact Centre toll-free number, 622, to present the facts of the matter for onward resolution.

Such details, it says, should include the name, address, phone number(s) and e-mail of the dissatisfied customer; a statement of the problem and the duration; as well as a brief explanation of the circumstances that led to the complaint and name of service provider.

“Telecoms consumers have the right to be informed, the right to safety, the right to choice, the right to be heard and the right to good quality of service. We protect the rights of Nigerian telecoms users by mediating between the consumer and the operators and protecting consumers against fraudulent and unscrupulous dealings,” the NCC says.

Copyright PUNCH.

Scams every bank customer should know BY DEOLA KAYODE

Making money is not easy. It’s even harder if you have to work 5am to 9pm (though your employment letter said 9am to 5pm). It’s therefore devastating when you receive an alert saying you just withdrew some money from an Automated Teller Machine thousands of miles away from your place of abode.

This might have happened while you sat in your office with your ATM card carefully nested in your pocket. It was difficult to prove to the bank it wasn’t you since all the details were supplied to the banking payment system tallied with yours.

This was the story that prevailed when   magnetic swipe cards became compromised and banking customers were being scammed.

Though the percentage of scams were reduced by 85 per cent through the introduction of the token-text authentication system and chip-pin cards, scammers have new systems to ensure you either make the payments or willingly ‘share’ your banking details.

With new technology comes a new set of crooks who seek to exploit the system as they are more knowledgeable than the average ATM card holder.

With technology getting more and more advanced, banks are outdoing each other in adding banking services that can be accessed across various platforms and applications.

Although banks are investing heavily in technology and cyber-security in order to beat the best of hackers, they also have to tackle customer ignorance. As with all types of frauds, the best way bank customers can counter this is to have more information and be fully aware of the possible dangers that lurk in cyberspace.

Here are the most common online banking scams that consumers should be aware of:

Advanced text fraud

This is one of the crude form of the advanced fee fraud. With the emergence of text messaging systems which allow users to send bulk SMS while customising the name of the sender, there have been reported cases of advanced text fraud. In this case, customers who base their business transactions on receiving alerts systems (email or text) from their banks can get duped easily.

Akin (not real name) is a car dealer who told a customer to go on and make payment at the bank while he waited patiently for a text message. No sooner had he received the text message from the ‘bank’ than he released the car only to realize later that the text message from the ‘bank’ was fake. He had clearly fallen victim of advanced text fraud.

While most bulk texting gateways are already taking precautions to vet messages before they go out, it is important for everyone to be suspicious enough to identify threats. This is especially so when you are conducting transactions that may expose you to risk, confirm payment independently from your account officer, your bank balance on your ATM, online banking channel or through systems created by the bank to help you confirm your transactions.

Stolen chips, cheap passwords

With the emergence of the chip and pin passwords, frauds need to have both your ATM and password to get anything done. Customers make this easy and simple by using obvious passwords like your date of birth. If your purse or bag gets stolen, chances are that your ATM will be close to your ID card and fraudsters looking for information like this might try that to see if they are lucky.

The best way to prevent this is to use more secure passwords. In case you lose your card, don’t wait till you begin to receive alerts, report to the bank immediately.

Phishing – Some ‘fake’ banks need your password to upgrade

Sounds like fishing, but it is actually used when an online scammer ‘fishes’ on the Internet for data from gullible users. While pretending to come from an original bank, they send out emails designed to lure you into revealing your banking/personal password, token pins or text codes which is then used to access your bank accounts online. Upgrading software and banking applications are not simple tasks; it can shut down entire banking operations so banks do not embark on it as often as those ‘we are upgrading’ emails suggest. While so many people know about this already, the fact that it is still being used means it is working for them. You receive an email purportedly from your bank requesting that you update your account information for a reason that sounds official. Click on the link directs you to the bank’s website but instead directs you to a cloned site which receives your data.

It doesn’t matter the phrase; “Verify your account”, “If you don’t respond within 24 hours, your account will be deleted”, “Click the link below to update your account information”, “Please provide your username and password”. No bank will need your password details to complete upgrade. Ignore any email requesting such. Avoid clicking on and avoid using public computers for personal banking transactions.

Withdraw at gun point

Since some are not that tech-savvy, the next thing to do is to waylay customers trying to use ATMs. This especially occurs at night when human traffic is low and risk of them being caught is very low. Another trend within the Nigerian space includes robbers who force their victims to go to an ATM to withdraw cash.

Use only bank ATM machines in well-lit, high-traffic areas. ATMs inside busy supermarkets are considered safer. Don’t use ATM machines that are remote or hidden, such as being located behind buildings, behind pillars, walls, or away from public view. Beware of obvious hiding places like shrubbery or overgrown trees.

Avoid ATMs where people are lurking around. Since you cannot return the money to the ATM, don’t waste time counting money at night.

Report to your bank’s watch-list

Most times when you receive those emails, most conscious customers already know this and they avoid trouble. However others still fall for the scam because they do not report it. When you spot a scam or phishing, report it to the bank immediately. This allows the bank to take the necessary actions that get the website blacklisted, banned or taken down.

All across the world the battle to secure online and technology transactions is becoming more complex and technical. We banking customers can also improve the banking system by taking the necessary precautions that makes your financial transactions secure

The making of Boko Haram BY TOLU OGUNLESI

How the failings of the Nigerian state, over the years, have conspired to create the conditions for the transformation of Boko Haram from just one of several fundamentalist sects in Northern Nigeria, into the irredeemably violent organisation it is today; one that now appears to lie well beyond the capacity of the country to confront and defeat.

The turning point in the drawn-out evolution of Boko Haram was the 2009 killing, under police custody, of the sect’s founder, Yusuf Muhammed, hours after soldiers arrested and handed him over. His capture followed five days of clashes between sect members and the military, ordered in by President Umaru Yar’Adua when it became clear that the police could not contain it.

If the authorities got any warnings – and there are suggestions they did – nothing pre-emptive was done, until the sect struck. Five years after the events of July 2009, not much seems to have changed; regarding the abduction of more than 200 schoolgirls in Chibok. Amnesty International says: “Nigerian security forces knew about Boko Haram’s impending raid, but failed to take the immediate action needed to stop it.”

In February, the Governor of Borno State, Kashim Shettima, told journalists that, “Boko Haram (insurgents) are better armed and are better motivated than our own troops.” The recent mutiny by soldiers on the frontlines against Boko Haram provides strong evidence of the level of frustration within the military. A culture of corruption deprives fighting personnel of weapons, equipment and welfare, resulting in a demoralised force. Rumours abound of Nigerian soldiers stealing and selling arms to criminals.

There have also been suggestions that Nigeria’s military bosses are interested in preserving the stalemate with Boko Haram to justify the continued allocation of billions of dollars to security in the federal budget.

The first violent uprising associated with the sect that has come to be known as Boko Haram, took place in December 2003. About 200 armed youths who styled themselves Al Sunna Wal Jamma (“Followers of the Prophet”) attacked police stations in two border towns in Yobe State, near Nigeria’s border with Chad. The attack on the police stations is now believed to have been in retaliation for what the sect perceived as maltreatment of its members by the police.

For six years, there were no other attacks on the scale of the 2003 uprisings. And then the events of July 2009 took place, in which the sect launched a series of brazen, coordinated attacks on police stations and government buildings in four states, in retaliation for an encounter weeks earlier with a team of “Operation Flush”, a special security unit under the control of then Governor Ali Modu Sherriff.

That earlier incident, in which sect members were reportedly challenged by “Operation Flush” operatives for defying a state law and riding motorcycles without helmets, took place in June 2009, and resulted in gunshot injuries to several sect members. After that incident, Yusuf reportedly wrote and circulated an “Open letter” to President Yar’Adua, threatening violence (a vow that was fulfilled weeks later).

The deaths of Yusuf, his father-in-law (who provided the land on which his mosque in Maiduguri was built), and alleged financier, Buji Foi, all in controversial circumstances at the hands of the police, and after the violence had already subsided, marked the beginning of a new phase of the campaign waged by Boko Haram. (Also, at that time, the local media reported that Muslim men in Maiduguri were shaving their beards to avoid being rounded up for summary execution by the military).

In an audio message released to the media in April 2013, following reports that the government was planning to extend amnesty to repentant militants, sect leader, Abu Shekau, was reported as saying: “We are the ones to grant them pardon. Have you forgotten their atrocities against us?”

Human rights groups have continued to document accounts of abuses perpetrated by the Nigerian military, which end up alienating local communities and further radicalising Boko Haram sympathisers.

Yusuf’s charismatic preaching and his philanthropy quickly ensured that he was in control of a large and deeply devoted youth population, drawn to his attacks on Western education and on a decadent political system whose legacy was corruption and poverty. Multitudes left their families or quit education to follow him. And these were not always poor youths; it has been reported that many of his followers were from wealthy families.

With this youth army, it is easy to see the attraction it held for politicians on a desperate quest to gain or retain political office. It is a pattern across Nigeria that politicians cultivate, for the purposes of winning elections, armies of youths whose job it is to intimidate opponents, and create the kind of chaos that makes rigging easy on election days. These political links may explain the initial reluctance to decisively deal with the issue of Boko Haram in its early days.

Today, Nigeria’s main political parties continue to exploit Boko Haram for their own ends, by using it as a basis for trading accusations aimed at undermining opponents. The ruling Peoples Democratic Party and the President’s advisers have long struggled to portray the opposition All Progressives Congress as a Nigerian version “Muslim Brotherhood” or “Janjaweed” bent on “Islamising” Nigeria, while the APC suspects that the reluctance of the Federal Government to clamp down decisively on the insurgency is connected to its plan to keep the region – an APC stronghold – unstable and undermine chances of elections holding there in 2015.

Amid the frenzy of baseless accusations and counter-accusations, the protection of hapless citizens, like the Chibok schoolgirls, is not a priority.

One noticeable trend in Nigeria from the early 2000s is the proliferation of arms in the country, smuggled in across Nigeria’s porous 4,000-mile-stretch of borders with Benin, Niger, Chad and Cameroon.

In response, President Olusegun Obasanjo in 2005 set up a Presidential Action Committee on Control of Violent Crimes and Illegal Weapons, which reportedly raised fears that extremist sects were gaining ground in the country. There is no evidence any action was taken at that time, to address what were very credible threats.

It is now also known that funds have flowed into Northern Nigeria from abroad, to support an array of disruptive Muslim sects, since the turn of the century. Writing in 2011, Mai Yamani, author of Cradle of Islam noted, “Despite the decade of the West’s war on terror, and Saudi Arabia’s longer-term alliance with the US, the Kingdom’s Wahhabi religious establishment has continued to bankroll Islamic extremist ideologies around the world.”

In 2002, a Nigerian associate of Osama bin Laden reportedly received N300m ($3m at that time) from him to donate to several Islamist sects across Northern Nigeria, including Boko Haram. Bin Laden had himself broadcast a message around that time in which he cited Nigeria as one of six countries “ready for liberation.”

This is a condensed version of a piece that will appear in full shortly.

Follow me on Twitter @toluogunlesi

Pastor’s Attempt to “Duplicate” Boko Haram In Osun State Flops, Culprits Arrested

The little town of Ikonifin in Ola Oluwa Local government area of Osun State was thrown into an uproar when a church leader’s, Pastor Olatoke’s, ploy to “duplicate” Boko Haram in the vicinity was foiled by some sprightly youths. The ploy would have placed Muslims living in Ikonifin in a very sore light if the attempt by Pastor Olatoke was successful.

The pastor of the Baptist church Ikonifin, who is also the CAN President of Ola Oluwa Local Government,   was reported to have conspired with three members of his church, Emmanuel Atanda, Peter Oyedepo and Ogunniyi Babatope to dress like Boko Haram militants and use turban to cover their faces.

When it was around 11-12pm on Sunday,  18th May, 2014, during the church services, the three men stormed the church premises and started throwing knockouts to scare church members away.

Consequent upon this development, the worshippers took to their heels, running helter-skelter for their precious lives. Many were injured in the process. Fortunately, those men were arrested when they were trying to escape with their motorcycle by some agile youths of the community.

During the ensuing severe torture before the arrival of the police, the fake “Boko Haramites”  revealed that they  are members of the Baptist Church and that it was a planned deal with their pastor.

When the pastor was consulted he said it was just a drama.

The Christian Association reportedly did all possible best to bury the case but it failed as the exploit eventually leaked to the media.

Sheikh Daood Imran Molaasan, the Founder and National President of Jama’at Ta’awunil Muslimeen has called on the state government to bring the perpetrators of such malicious crime to book.

“To bury such a case, is a crime against Muslims because if the plan was successful, Muslims would have been in danger. It’s unjust until the perpetrators are brought to book;  and CAN should be warned that any conspiracy against Muslims or attempt to destabilize the State of Osun will be their end, In- Sha- Allah ” he warned.

Professor O.O Ladipo also called on the  state government to  arrest the pastor who  intended to launch Boko Haram in the State of Osun with the aim of putting Muslims in danger.

Antidote for clumsy sex (II) BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

Every husband wants to taste the extra packaging that comes along with well-arranged sex. The aroma of a hygienic, dirt-free vagina fluid is one of the erotic sexual power for many husbands. So keep your vagina inviting, captivating, appealing, tempting and enticing always.

Husbands should know that the woman’s surest gateway to a good sex is through 100 per cent carefulness and tenderness. And when you ignore it, you are cutting real first-class sex out of the relationship. And what most wives want in bed is a man who is not clumsy; someone who knows how to control the timing of his ejaculation while love play is on, so that both spouses will get the maximum pleasure from sex. The longer a husband lasts, the deeper his climax, the sweeter the sex for his wife. Wives by nature need time to be fully aroused whereas husbands get aroused almost immediately. Besides, 87 per cent of women do not climax through penetrative sex alone. Most need some form of extra stimuli, massaging and clitoral caresses. All these help to build a woman’s excitement level before thrusting and prevent clumsiness because the average woman needs around 20 to 28 minutes of connection.

One major reason many wives are not active sexually is that their anticipated sexual escapade is frustrated, cut short and curtailed by their husbands’ inability to control their ejaculation timing. If there is anything that is most clumsy for women, it is this singular act. Remarkably, this can easily be achieved; it is so easy to develop complete self-control to the extent that any husband can actually choose when to ejaculate during sex. When you have this level of control, your sexual self-confidence will be so high that you can confidently satisfy your wife in bed any time.

Most wives love the inner part of their vagina to be caressed with their husbands’ fingers. So, for a supercharged experience, experts recommend the fingering of the vagina or sucking of the nipples [about 1 per cent of women can reach orgasm from breast stimulation alone] and the clitoris which can keep your wife moaning with delight. The husband should fondle his wife’s labia for at least five minutes before touching her clitoris.

So while caressing your wife, it must not be done clumsily in a rush. It is advisable for the wife to take a comfortable position with legs wide apart so that her husband will be able to gently play with her genitals. Sometimes just touching a wife’s breast is enough to bring her to orgasm while other women are almost totally unresponsive. Therefore, husband, if your wife seems indifferent to your advances, there’s no point insisting. It is better to try to discover her other erogenous zones. In addition, wives should not feel guilty if they do not enjoy breast play. Remember it is not unusual and things can change.

Breasts should be handled with care for guaranteed pleasure. Majority of wives love having their breasts fondled. However, there is one important rule: be gentle and handle them with care. Only few wives enjoy having their breasts pinched, or manhandled. Many wives experience strong erotic pleasure having their breasts fondled during foreplay but they often complain that their spouses pay them insufficient attention either because they are in a hurry or are clumsy. There are countless ways to enjoy breasts foreplay! Using your fingertips, trace first the outline of her breast and then the areola. Pressing against the nipple and areola with the tip of your tongue often triggers a strong sexual response. Then you can do whatever you like! You can suck on the nipple, lick the breasts sensually or fondle both breasts at the same time. A drip of honey trickled over the breasts in a cool air-conditioned room can spice things up and really whet your appetite. Breasts are a symbol of femininity and wives love their men to admire their breasts. So, a few well-chosen compliments will not do any harm and should help produce the desired effect.

Try to avoid too much fondling during the build-up to her period as breasts can become heavy and painful at this time. Some husbands may fantasise about a “pearl necklace” sex. This involves the stimulation of the penis by the breasts. Most wives are not aware of this or how to carry it out but with a little practice, it can be a highly erotic sexual act. Men’s nipples are generally considered less sensitive than women’s. However, it is still best to caress them gently, with either your finger or tongue and be prepared to stop if your husband does not seem to enjoy it. On the other hand, a man’s chest is much more sensitive than a woman’s, particularly the ridge defining the bottom of the pectoral muscles. Kiss your husband repeatedly in this area, tickle him gently with your tongue, caress him with your fingertips or lightly scratch him. He may be surprised to discover just how sensitive his chest is!

Whether temporary or permanent, tattoos are dangerous BY SOLAADE AYO-ADERELE Leav

Look around you, and chances are you are one of the few people who don’t have one form of tattoo or the other. From the professional to motor park tout and everyone caught in-between, tattoo seems to have become a language of self-expression, while the shapes and sizes seem to be getting bolder by the day.

By the way, people love to display their tattoos, whether on the chest, in-between the breasts or on the lowest region of the back sitting just atop the groove between the buttocks. For those who have their tattoos on the lower base of the backbone (atop the bums), its one reason to sag!

People tattoo for all sorts of reasons. Some women tattoo the name of their lovers atop a breast or around the nipple; others may have an arrow with a spear piercing through drawn on the same body area. Some people tattoo to celebrate events, while others do it to preserve the memory of a beloved departed one.

The arms, shoulders, back of the necks (name it) are all areas of the body that can host a tattoo.

Among the youth, their swagger doesn’t seem complete until a tattoo is added to the show. Some go as far as having it on the face and in areas of the body they may be unable to hide when the occasion demands — such as when seeking employment in blue chip companies where such things are considered off the mark.

Tattoos in the pack

These days, when you unwrap certain items such as sweets, chewing gums and other edibles favoured by children and youth, they sometimes come with press-on labels. While many people would be afraid to get a permanent tattoo for many reasons, many people don’t consider press-on tattoo dangerous because even if you don’t wash it off, it will peel off on its own after a few days.

However, experts are saying press-on tattoos may not be safe after all. According to the United States-based Food and Drug Administration, temporary tattoos can cause allergic reactions.

The FDA scientists note that temporary tattoos typically last from three days to several weeks, depending on the product used for colouring and the condition of the skin. And unlike permanent tattoos which are injected into the skin, temporary tattoos marketed as “henna” are applied to the skin’s surface.

However, just because a tattoo is temporary doesn’t mean that it is risk-free. Some consumers report reactions that may be severe and outlast the temporary tattoos themselves, the scientists warn.

The researchers say problems that could arise from simply pressing that label on your skin include redness, blisters, raised red weeping lesions, loss of pigmentation, increased sensitivity to sunlight, and even permanent scarring.

They also note that some reactions have led people to seek medical care, including visits to hospital emergency rooms.

“Reactions may occur immediately after a person gets a temporary tattoo, or even up to two or three weeks later,” they aver.

Dangerous inks

The main issue has to do with the active ingredient — the henna. Historically, henna is a reddish-brown colouring made from a flowering plant that grows in tropical and subtropical regions. When ground into a paste, it could be used to dye skin, hair, fingernails, leather, silk and wool. During festive occasions, it is usually used in skin decoration and could be washed off at will because it does not involve the use of needles as is the case with permanent tattoo.

When used in its natural form, scientists say, the henna is absolutely safe. However, when produced in commercial quantity and mixed with certain cosmetic ingredients, the safety of the henna — now aptly called black henna — cannot be guaranteed.

The FDA scientists note that sometimes, what is called henna is actually hair dye which may contain p-phenylenediamine, PPD, an ingredient that can cause dangerous skin reactions in some people

Indeed, the FDA warns, “By law, PPD is not permitted in cosmetics intended to be applied to the skin.”

Writing about tattoo ink, Dr. Anne Marie Helmenstine says, “Tattoo inks may contain any chemical, including those known to be mutagenic (capable of causing mutations), teratogenic (capable of causing birth defects), and carcinogenic (capable of causing cancer), or involved in other biochemical reactions in the body that might take decades to appear.”

She adds, “There are other factors that may exponentially increase the serious health risks associated with tattooing. When alcohol is used as part of the carrier base in tattoo ink or to disinfect the skin before application of the tattoo, it increases the skin’s permeability, helping to transport more chemicals into the bloodstream.

“Alcohol also works synergistically with mutagens, teratogens and carcinogens to make them even more harmful, increasing the chance that they may cause mutation or disease, both at the site of the tattoo and systemically.”

She concludes that skin infections, psoriasis, dermatitis and other chronic skin conditions, and tumours (both benign and malignant) have all been associated with tattoos. You may want to avoid this.

Worse still, experts warn, henna dye that contains PPD may make you allergic to sulfonamides — a class of drugs that were first successfully used in the treatment of bacterial infections in the 1930s, and which are still being used in antibiotics and a host of other medications such as diuretics (used in treating high blood pressure) and anticonvulsants (used in the treatment of epileptic seizures).

Obviously, temporary tattoos are no tea party and they can leave you with permanent damage!

Antidote for clumsy sex BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

The major sexual challenge of typical couples is acquiring and applying up to date sexual data. When you ask many men how they get along sexually with their wives, you will be shocked to hear majority of them say ‘we just did it anyhow.’ This means it was not only clumsy but rough and sometimes bloody. The memory of such experience is a time bomb.

Whenever you feel that your knowledge of getting your spouse in gear for sex is inadequate or limited, then it might be time to brush up your knowledge of the art of sexual facts to avert clumsiness. Sex is a mysterious and sacred act that knits couple together in ways that are beyond description.

A medical study has discovered that married couples who invest sufficient knowledge into sexual activities with a positive attitude have the best, most satisfying sex. They enjoy sex more often and have the highest level of physical and emotional fulfilment. This is because a good sexual escapade prevents dullness, lackadaisical attitude and lack of interest.

Who says the only time a wife could be swept off her feet should be the night of her wedding? As a matter of fact, clumsy-free sex sweeps anyone off his or her feet. Clumsy-free sex allows both spouses to have more opportunities to try new things, make small adjustment, and build towards a state of heightened arousal that rocks from head to toe.

Wives, please bear in mind that our men are goal-oriented; they often figure the faster and harder they work it down there, the more powerful your orgasm will be, which is why it is important for you to set the tone. So from the moment your husband starts kissing you, you should relaxingly be grasping his hip, caressing his arm, back or thighs, or sliding your finger around the nape of his neck. From caressing to grabbing or tender scratching and tender whisperings, you can bring your man to the brink of paradise and keep him dangling there in blissful suspense until he begs for mercy by giving him a series of tantalizing attention you would want him to give you. So start by caressing his penis carefully, not absentmindedly. Pay attention to how he is responding. Give him more of what makes him breathe faster, moan or sigh. If he is circumcised, use a slow, light, up-and-down stroke when his penis is not lubricated.

You can also just trail your fingers up the length of the shaft, and over and around the head. Since most men get erection first thing in the mornings, you can set your alarm 15 minutes before you have to be up, strip down, take his hand in yours, and gently guide it over your body, lingering on your nipples and your clitoris. It is the best big way to wake him up. Many husbands love women who crave pleasure and take matters into their own hands…literally.

Try pressing and releasing his fingertip against your clitoris several times, then use his finger to make small circles in either direction to hit all of your nerves. It can be soothing when the wife goes extra mile to really embrace the penis of her husband. Not only does this allow him to sit back, relax, and enjoy being stimulated, it also means that he can watch you touch him, watching is erotic and enticing. In addition, it will teach the wife a lot about how to be his ultimate lover. A steady rhythm, a confident grip, and plenty of lubrications will pretty much guarantee his and your pleasure. Steady rhythms prevent clumsiness.

The prostate gland is nicknamed the male G-spot; slowly slide a lubricated finger around the base of the penis and feel for a fleshy mound that is similar in texture to the woman’s G-spot. It is slightly raised and rippled . Just use your finger for a firm caressing strokes of this prostate for deep and meaningful orgasms. The use of condoms greatly prevents clumsiness and can remove any issue of funny premature ejaculation, because the condom helps the man to momentarily lose sensation which indirectly delays ejaculation. And of course, do not forget the fact that dim light helps to blossom a clumsy-free sex, so keep a reflective light on.

Husbands love to watch while their wives experiment with their penis. Close your eyes slightly if you feel self-conscious. From his angle, he’ll think you’re gazing adoringly at his penis regardless the size.

Ask your husband to pour lubricant on your breasts and rub it in. Once they are warm and moistened, use them to lubricate his penis. Every wife can be a red-hot lover without being inept to her husband just learning the trick of clumsy-free game. While still giving him love play, sit up and cup your breasts, ask your partner to pour some lubricant oil between them. You can even put on a show and rub it in while he watches or ask him to do it for you, slowly, passionately, seductively, and sensual.

Does artificial breast, buttock or penis have a better effect on sex? BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

The system we live in has gradually over the years come to associate bigness with approval, pleasure and acceptance. The society believes that the bigger the house, or mansion, the elaborate the gatherings, the larger the get-togethers, the massive the events and celebrations the better and this same spirit has crept into our sexual preferences. The sexual preferences of many have led many to seek artificial buttocks, breasts, penis and scrotum.

The need for a bigger breast, larger buttock and bigger penis has driven many couples to making artificial enhancement a do or die affair.

There is no doubt that the centre of a man’s existence is his penis and his penis is related to his sense of power. To most men, penis size is a life contest and competitions. A man with the big penis proudly displays and talks about it while the ones with the small size secretly envy all the days of their lives. The quest to measure up to the other man in terms of bigness is the major reason why many men unguardedly go for artificial penis and scrotum.

 Most times, many men worry and wonder if they are ever going to measure up; so they end up with trying out artificial penis and scrotum balloon.  It is so bad that many do not like to dress up in the presence of their friends or even venture to get married because there is always that moment of anxiety when they wonder if they would not be mocked or rejected. Quite a number of young adults even resort to masturbation just to see if the practice will at least elongate their penis size. Ironically, this act does not only make such young men to become addictive to masturbation, it further kills the strength and stamina of ejaculation.  Perhaps the anxiety begins in boyhood when, all too often, the first unforgettable penis comparison happens with a much bigger one–a father’s or older brothers, or a discussion where attractive women openly state their preferences for well-endowed men. So, at the root of many men’s self-worth is how he feels about the size of his penis and what he thinks about its ability to please his wife.

It is no doubt that a man’s penis is tied to a sense of his virility. But it is very important for us to bear in mind that the average human penis is about eight-plus inches, although some women have failed to remember the size of their husbands’ manhood except for those penises outside the extreme average range. Nonetheless, these wives place more interest on their marital relationship than the size of their husbands’ penises, while higher percentage of ladies both single and married still insist bigger ones are lovely bonuses to the relationship.

From research, the percentage of ladies that prefer bigger penis seem to be  70 per cent against 30 per cent of those  ladies who are indifferent. And if this is the case, the struggle for artificial penis and scrotum may not be needful if the less endowed smartly put it to good use. At the end of the whole thing, it is actually the overall performance of the penis that really matters. It is not all about size but technicality.  Although there are natural enhancers available that will greatly assist the exceptionally small sized men,  care must be taken to make sure a sex therapist is involved.

The breast and buttock of a lady undeniably are sources of sensuality for both admirers and owners alike. As a matter of fact, nobody can deny the beauty of a woman’s breasts and buttocks. These two are as important to her as a man’s penis and prowess. And they seem to drive men, of all ages, wild with fantasy and desire.

Seventy per cent of men from all lifestyles are drawn to an impressive cleavage and big buttock. For many men, large breasts and well-defined bigger hips are indicative of high sex hormone levels. They are considered symbols of good sexual arousal and a good indicator of a solid and secure accommodation for the penis during the stage of vigorous thrusting in and out. They also serve as a steady support for the man while at the pick of ejaculation or orgasm.

This has been the reason majority of men seem to be drawn to a huge butt and bigger breasts like a magnet; and some literarily love to venerate them. But oddly enough, it does not necessarily mean that all big breasts and massive butts are equally responsive even though they may be seductive.

Large breasts or butts are not necessarily the most sensitive and assertive part of some women’s sexuality and sometimes smaller breasts and butts can be explosively seductive, indescribably appealing and tempting.

Because a big butt and breasts have always been objects of desire while most men freely admit to loving and preferring them; many ladies are under undue pressure to artificially make it bigger by all means. One crucial point is that there is nothing as satisfying as a sense of complete self-acceptance as this helps individuals to enhance the beauty of their physical features.

The President I Want, By Chimamanda Adichie

Some of my relatives lived for decades in the North, in Kano and Bornu. They spoke fluent Hausa. (One relative taught me, at the age of eight, to count in Hausa.) They made planned visits to Anambra only a few times a year, at Christmas and to attend weddings and funerals. But sometimes, in the wake of violence, they made unplanned visits. I remember the word ‘Maitatsine’ – to my young ears, it had a striking lyricism – and I remember the influx of relatives who had packed a few bags and fled the killings. What struck me about those hasty returns to the East was that my relatives always went back to the North. Until two years ago when my uncle packed up his life of thirty years in Maiduguri and moved to Awka. He was not going back. This time, he felt, was different.

My uncle’s return illustrates a feeling shared by many Nigerians about Boko Haram: a lack of hope, a lack of confidence in our leadership. We are experiencing what is, apart from the Biafran war, the most violent period in our nation’s existence. Like many Nigerians, I am distressed about the students murdered in their school, about the people whose bodies were spattered in Nyanya, about the girls abducted in Chibok. I am furious that politicians are politicizing what should be a collective Nigerian mourning, a shared Nigerian sadness.

And I find our president’s actions and non-actions unbelievably surreal.

I do not want a president who, weeks after girls are abducted from a school and days after brave Nigerians have taken to the streets to protest the abductions, merely announces a fact-finding committee to find the girls.

I want President Jonathan to be consumed, utterly consumed, by the state of insecurity in Nigeria. I want him to make security a priority, and make it seem like a priority. I want a president consumed by the urgency of now, who rejects the false idea of keeping up appearances while the country is mired in terror and uncertainty. I want President Jonathan to know – and let Nigerians know that he knows – that we are not made safer by soldiers checking the boots of cars, that to shut down Abuja in order to hold a World Economic Forum is proof of just how deeply insecure the country is. We have a big problem, and I want the president to act as if we do. I want the president to slice through the muddle of bureaucracy, the morass of ‘how things are done,’ because Boko Haram is unusual and the response to it cannot be business as usual.

I want President Jonathan to communicate with the Nigerian people, to realize that leadership has a strong psychological component: in the face of silence or incoherence, people lose faith. I want him to humanize the lost and the missing, to insist that their individual stories be told, to show that every Nigerian life is precious in the eyes of the Nigerian state.

I want the president to seek new ideas, to act, make decisions, publish the security budget spending, offer incentives, sack people. I want the president to be angrily heartbroken about the murder of so many, to lie sleepless in bed thinking of yet what else can be done, to support and equip the armed forces and the police, but also to insist on humaneness in the midst of terror. I want the president to be equally enraged by soldiers who commit murder, by policemen who beat bomb survivors and mourners. I want the president to stop issuing limp, belated announcements through public officials, to insist on a televised apology from whoever is responsible for lying to Nigerians about the girls having been rescued.

I want President Jonathan to ignore his opponents, to remember that it is the nature of politics, to refuse to respond with defensiveness or guardedness, and to remember that Nigerians are understandably cynical about their government.

I want President Jonathan to seek glory and a place in history, instead of longevity in office. I want him to put aside the forthcoming 2015 elections, and focus today on being the kind of leader Nigeria has never had.

I do not care where the president of Nigeria comes from. Even those Nigerians who focus on ‘where the president is from’ will be won over if they are confronted with good leadership that makes all Nigerians feel included. I have always wanted, as my president, a man or a woman who is intelligent and honest and bold, who is surrounded by truth-telling, competent advisers, whose policies are people-centered, and who wants to lead, who wants to be president, but does not need to – or have to- be president at all costs.

President Jonathan may not fit that bill, but he can approximate it: by being the leader Nigerians desperately need now.

- Chimamanda Adichie is the award winning author of Half of a Yellow Sun, Purple Hibiscus, The Thing Around Your Neck and Americanah

Be a virgin again for just N5,000

Bimbola Shoyemi (not real name) was raped when she was 14 years old. And since then, life had been unfair to her, or so she thought.

Without anyone she could confide in, she kept the secret all to herself. And that was just the beginning of her sex escapade.

In 2007, four years after the awful experience, she gained admission to study accountancy in one of the country’s state universities. But there was a new twist to her fate. Her father, who was the breadwinner of the family, died a few weeks before she got the admission.

Being the first of five children, and their mother not working, she decided it was time for her to take the bull by the horn. She would not want to forfeit her admission for whatever reason.

After one year of being an undergraduate, with no one to sponsor her education, she met Martins, a 300-level engineering student, who promised to give her both moral and financial support.

To her, Martins was her God-sent angel, as he was from a well-to-do family. But Martins wanted something much more than appreciation. He wanted a relationship with her, and he had it.

However, in her two-year relationship with Martins, she had abortions three times. After that, they both parted – a year before her graduation. And she was back to square one.

But in 2011, when she thought it was all over, she met Kunle Adefemi (not real name), an engineer in one of the oil companies in Lagos.

According to a friend of hers, who pleaded anonymity and who narrated her friend’s story to our correspondent, Adefemi was not just a rich 28-year-old dude; he was well brought up by a set of moralist parents. And so, it was not surprising that he also had high moral standards.

Eventually, Adefemi and Shoyemi started dating that same year. Wanting to keep to his moral principles, he told her they would not have sex until their wedding night. And she agreed with him. After all, it was a sign of a guy’s true love for her.

Meanwhile, Adefemi had always told Shoyemi prior to their relationship how he placed so much value on virginity and how he was determined to go to any length for any lady that he married as a virgin.

With the fear that he might eventually lose interest in her or at worse dump her if he knew she was not a virgin, Shoyemi had told Adefemi she was a virgin. He was excited, and the wedding arrangements started.

Her friend narrated to our correspondent, “My friend so much loved Kunle that she never wanted to lose him to any other lady. I guess that’s why she lied to him.”

Then the anxiety began for Shoyemi, according to her friend. “How would she ever tell him that she had lied to him to keep the relationship? Would he appreciate her for opening up or dump her?

“But from every indication, there was a high probability that he would dump her if he learnt about her past. Three abortions!”

However, luck smiled on her when she heard of a product that could virtually restore her virginity: an artificial virginity kit.

She was determined to pay any amount of money to gain her virginity and by extension her dignity back.

And she had her way. For about N5,000, she bought the product two weeks ahead of the D-Day and kept it – until the wedding night.

So in the end, Adefemi believed that fate bestowed him the privilege of having a virgin woman as wife – a status thing to him.

“They both have a child now,” her friend concluded.



The artificial virginity kit

The good news is a lady’s virginity could now be restored through a product called the artificial virginity kit.

The kit, also known as an artificial hymen repair kit, (and popularly referred to as a “chinese hymen” or “fake hymen”) is a type of prosthetic membrane created for the purpose of simulating an intact human hymen.

Since hymens can be broken via physical activity or even by the use of a tampon, many women are concerned about restoring their virginity. Hymen repair, hymen reconstruction, hymen surgery or revirgination are all terms that refer to Hymenoplasty – cosmetic surgery that restores the female hymen.

While the Hymenoplasty procedure requires admission to a clinic and can cost an arm and a leg, the artificial hymen provides much cheaper and convenient way to become a virgin again!

According to the product’s manufacturer, when the artificial hymen is carefully inserted into the vagina, it will expand a little and make it feel tight. However, during sex, it will ooze out a liquid that appears like blood – that would make it seem like the woman is still a virgin.

Likewise, it’s claimed to be easy to use, clinically proven, non-toxic to human, has no side effects, not painful to use and has no allergic reaction.

The cost? Our correspondent found out the prices for the two varieties of the kit: one costs N2,000 while the other costs N5,000.

However, in some parts of the world, the fake hymen is controversial. In fact, Egyptian lawmakers tried to ban a similar product in 2009 after a radio reporter translated the Chinese advertisement for the product into Arabic.

While the fake hymen might seem ridiculous to some, virginity, as New York Magazine points out, “can be a literal issue of life and death” in some parts of the world.

Nigerian ladies are desperate to get this kit

When our correspondent visited the website of the manufacturer of the artificial virginity kit, the responses of some Nigerian ladies to the product are overwhelming.

A lady, who calls herself Mary, posted on April 3, 2012, “Please I need this artificial virginity kit because my wedding is coming up in the third week of April and my husband-to-be believes that I am a virgin. Please help. Thank you.”

She added, “Please tell me the exact place to buy it. I live in Nigeria, Lagos to be precise.”

Definitely, she was not the only one who showed desperation to get her hands on this product.

Another lady, Jenny, wrote, “Please I need this product, but I don’t know where and how to get it because I am in Nigeria. I will appreciate your help. Thanks.”

One other lady who used the pseudonym “Boularnleh” posted, “Please I really need this product. Thanks.”



Availability in Nigeria

Our correspondent visited some pharmacy stores in Lagos. A pharmacist, Folusho Bakare, told our correspondent he was aware of the product but was yet to lay his hands on it.

Bakare said, “Yes, I am aware of this product but I have not yet seen it. It is new and not yet well known here.”

But Deola Jibola told Saturday PUNCH she once saw the kit with a friend about four months ago.

She said, “I have seen it here in Nigeria. It is only that it is not yet popular. This is just a matter of time before it litters every pharmacy store.”

Another pharmacist, who doesn’t want to be named, told our correspondent that the product is very well available in Nigeria and that it would only take a few more months before it becomes very popular.

“Ladies come here regularly to buy creams for that purpose because there are some creams that could also help tighten the vagina.

“You can be sure that when the artificial virginity kit hits Nigeria, it will be a bomb.”

Significance of virginity

A long time ago, virginity was a thing of dignity, but it cannot be said of now, said 60-year-old Omobolanle Aderemi.

She narrated, “It was a thing of pride in those days when a man met his wife as a virgin. The society regarded it as a thing of honour. Ladies fought hard to preserve it because they wanted to be referred to as a source of pride to their parents.

“When a man met his wife as a virgin on the wedding night, there would be shouts of joy throughout the town. The couple’s relatives would sing and dance throughout the night.

“The husband would buy many gifts for the wife’s parents as a way of appreciating them for bringing up their daughter morally. When such gifts were to be presented to the parents of the lady, a box full of matchsticks would be added as an indication that the lady was ‘intact’ before the wedding night.

“There was this certain anxiety you felt then. However, if the lady was discovered to have been deflowered, she would be regarded as a source of disgrace to her parents and family.

“Instead of the shouts of joy, people mourned. It was such a big deal. And instead of gifts for the lady’s parents, the husband’s family would send a box of empty matchsticks to them as an indication that the lady was met ‘empty.’

“Such women were regarded as ‘empty baskets’ then. It was such a glorious thing in the past.”

However, things have indeed changed, said Mr. Rasheed Oladokun, a 75-year-old retired teacher.

“This generation no longer values virginity unlike before. When 14-year-old secondary school girls are having boyfriends now, what do you expect?”



The birth of fake marriages

With the introduction of the artificial virginity kits into the market, one should expect a society full of fake marriages and value degradation.

That is the opinion of Noah Adepeju, a Warri-based pastor at The Master’s Place International Church.

Adepeju said, “What this means now is that we will be having many marriages that will be based on deceptions and false foundations.

“It is about the eternal effect, not the present. As you call it, it is artificial, and what is artificial can never be original.

“Think about the effects on the family, the children, and the society. You could pretend for a while but you can never cover up in the long run. The truth always shows up.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong in a lady telling her fiancé she had once had affairs with other men before. Everybody has a past, which could be ugly.

“Imagine living all your life in guilt and shame when you can avoid these by simply opening up. No matter what a lady has gone through, no matter who she was, if the man really loves her, he would forget the past and forgive her.

“But I am afraid there could be some unpalatable consequences for living a fake life.”

Adepeju gives his final advice for both the ladies and the men: never indulge in what you cannot be openly proud of.

He said, “Keep your virginity, and keep your dignity because no artificial hymen can restore your dignity.”

Copyright PUNCH.

How to enjoy maximum sexual impact (II) BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

A wife should lovingly participate actively in caressing, kissing and fondling with her husband’s body. While doing this, she in turn becomes excited and produces fluid that helps lubricate her vagina and makes entry of the penis easy. If the wife has a dry vagina, she may either use artificial lubricant or use her tongue to lubricate the tip of her husband’s penis before the husband enters her.  This makes thrusting in and out very easy and painless.  Alternatively, she may lovingly tell her husband to use his own tongue to lubricate her vagina since the mouth is always wet with saliva. However, this must be done under very high mouth hygiene.

Husbands, most wives love the inner part of their vagina to be caressed with their husband’s finger. Wives are advised to tell their husbands their sexual preferences and not be shy about it. But care must be taken by the husbands not to get the wives infected with dirty and un-kept fingernails. While the husband is ‘fingering’ his wife, the wife should give him loving direction on how she would love to be caressed. The ‘fingering’ should be directed towards the location of the clitoris to get it stimulated and excited. Husbands should note that the clitoris should not be rubbed too hard; vigorous rubbing always turns the woman off. Wives should tell their spouses exactly what they want without fright or guilt.

 I tell husbands that most African men do not know where the clitoris of their wives are located and when they invariably discover it, they caress it as if they are removing coal from the back of a stained cooking pot.

As love play continues, your excitement will grow. Both of you will begin to breathe rapidly and your whole body will become warm. The wife’s vagina will increase in size and the husband’s penis will become harder, stronger and enlarged; and if this continues, without any interruption, the couple will reach the point where the vagina will be ready to welcome the penis for any form of thrusting in and out. Whichever way couple want it at this time, the vagina is over-prepared to receive any form of jacking, thrusting and hitting. This is because the vagina is not only lubricated enough, it has also developed capacity against any shocking hitting. It has reinforced itself and ready for any eventuality, so to say.

The three most important things to note during love play is to remember to talk freely, not to be in a hurry and be sensitive to what turns your spouse on and to avoid what turns them off. Then shortly after this, lengthy thrusting in and out either of the spouse or one after the other or both at the same time will enter into a readiness state. This is when the excitement level of either or both partners is very high and near eruptive expression otherwise called orgasm.

Man’s speed in reaching orgasm is very fast; it ranges between 15-20 seconds while that of the woman is really slow between 20- 30 minutes or thereabout. This is so because the female arousal involves a longer psychological build up. And they are more likely to be distracted than men. For instance, a lady can be distracted during lovemaking by the cry of a baby or the smell of a burnt food, or the sound of downpour of rain or the fear of another baby or the thought of a sick mother. These distractions make it difficult for most wives to keep their minds on track and reach orgasm on time. With this understanding, it is preferable that love play should begin well over time with the woman. Wives should boldly and gently tell their husbands to take the lead by kissing, fondling and caressing them long before his own arousal; may be 20-25 minutes before the husband comes in. Nevertheless, the wife too, must learn to be focused sexually and master her arousal and response; she can then easily reach orgasm on time. But due to circumcision, it may be difficult for some wives to experience orgasm.

The husband can know if his wife is about to experience orgasm because there will be an increase in the size of the vaginal lips, there will be an increased wetness in the lips of the vagina. She may or may not express some unusual sound of pleasure or movements of the body. The husband can increase the speed of his thrusting as he is aware that he too will soon ejaculate. One of the most pleasurable sexual feelings for wives apart from the final orgasm is to feel her husband thrusting in and out in her well-lubricated vagina.

Orgasm is the wonderful feeling of the highest excitement. When couples reach this level of excitement, they feel a tremendous, incredible, fantastic, terrific, pleasure surging through their whole body for about 10 seconds. For the wives, this pleasurable feeling begins in her clitoris and spreads to her entire body. During this time, she breathes rapidly, makes some sounds that show her extreme pleasure and contentment. This expression is not compulsory but this exhibited feeling by wives gives their husbands a sense of triumph. The same feeling goes on in the body of the husband for about 10 seconds after which he ejaculates with serial jerking.

When some men want to forcefully continue thrusting in and out, they usually experience pain. It is always advisable to wait for about 15 to 20 minutes or thereabout before another stimulation and erection before another round.

Although some unsatisfied women get turned off by this waiting, the best remedy for this section  is for the husband to either leave his penis inside the wife’s vagina or immediately, start  ‘fingering’ his wife, caressing the clitoris until the wife reaches her orgasm while the penis is still taking its time.